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It's not like I'm vehemently anti-threesome or whatever, but contrary to popular opinion, being bisexual isn't a synonym for hypersexual. One guy who I kindly told to get the fuck away from me with his slave fantasy protested that FetLife wasn't as well-known so a lot of people were "resorting" to OkCupid.

Here ya go -- FetLife exists!

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She told her friends about the website she had found then when she was done telling them about it their jaws opened and they ran away in horror. She went to the bar the next day wearing a soft, red, silk dress with a furry collar.

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My OkCupid profile makes that shit abundantly clear. There are thousands of questions, and the more you answer, the more accurate your match percent will be. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Only two of those are true but at that point, does it matter which one's a lie?

She fainted and blacked out. Inside the washing machine, her severed head was spinning around and around.

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She then heard the washer turn on down in the basement so she went Scary dating websites to turn it off.

When she walked in, she was disappointed. Now is the time for all Cracked readers who complain about my swearing to get their dicks nice and hard on their high fucking horses, because FetLife-esque messages are the fucking worst, and I can't talk about it without throwing out enough curse words that I'd go broke if someone slipped a swear jar in front of me.

Written on the wall in blood was a message. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Let me tell you right now -- it went wrong the second you asked some random woman to call you daddy. The girl was a little confused but ignored it and went home.

If you don't match, they literally call that person your enemy. His face was wrinkled and pock-marked. In the evening, she went to the store to buy some food for her family.

Just then, she felt a tap on her shoulder and when she turned around, she saw a hideous man standing there. She waved goodbye to them, then sat on her couch to watch TV. She hid in one of the clothes racks nearby.

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Just because you're online doesn't mean the basic rules of social interaction suddenly don't apply. Park that shit in a garage until at least the third date like a normal person, goddamn.

He agreed and told her to go to a particular bar in town and said that he would be there wearing a black shirt. You can purr right up your own asshole with that shit.

You may also like. I don't care how big your dick is.

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It seemed perfect, so she signed up for it straight away. If this was NextBus, your three fun facts would be "still says 'no homo,' has completely overreacted to a perceived slight in a bar, questionable reading comprehension. He also asked why she never answered his calls.

OkCupid has a function where you can hide your profile from straight users, but I don't use that function because I'm lucky enough to not have to worry about my safety due to my sexual orientation, and despite everything listed above, I don't want to rule out all of the straight male population.

I am Scary dating websites as bisexual because "idk, idc" is not an option, unfortunately.

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Some of the questions are benign, some are about how socially liberal or conservative you are, some are about what you're expecting from a relationship, etc. There, she saw the same guy walking down one of the aisles and tried to hide from him.

Go do your power play and your vore and all that shit over there, and stop "resorting" to asking young women to be your sex slaves. He was wearing a dirty black shirt that was shapeless and stretched out because he was so fat.

If you watched Rock of Love With Bret Michaels and had any idea that Brett Michaels was like, an actual celebrity rather than some random old dude, you are either too old for me or slightly more culturally aware.