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As long as we expect no more from these online relationships than they can give, no good reason exists why we can't enjoy the power of social media sites to connect us efficiently to people we'd otherwise not touch.

Whenever I hear stories of romantic break-ups, firings, or even arguments going on electronically, I cringe. The problem, however, comes when we find ourselves subtly substituting electronic relationships for physical ones or mistaking our electronic relationships for physical ones.

But it's every bit as rude. Don't say anything on email you'd feel uncomfortable saying to someone in person. People are often uncomfortable with face-to-face confrontation, so it's easy to Fit girl dating fat guy why they'd choose to use the Internet.

We may feel we're connecting effectively with others via the Internet, but too much electronic-relating paradoxically engenders a sense of social isolation. So much communication and meaning is lost in the latter.


As a result, I've made it a rule of thumb to limit my email communications as much as possible to factual information only. In-person interactions, though more difficult, are more likely to result in positive outcomes and provide opportunities for personal growth.

Balance time on the Internet with time spent with friends and family. A few common sense rules for the electronic world apply: People tend to delay answering emails when they don't have what they consider to be good answers or when they want to avoid whatever responsibility the email demands of them.

If someone has reached out to you, they care about your response.

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But this is like being asked a question in person and rather than responding, "I don't know" or "I'll have to think about it," turning on your heels Relationships dating blog walking away in silence.

Precisely because electronic media transmit emotion so poorly compared to in-person interaction, many view it as the perfect way to send difficult messages: Even when we're all careful to use the Internet only to exchange information, problems can still arise. Lickerman's home page, Happiness in this World.

From pornography to merely surfing the web, the Internet is clearly the television of the 21st century, an electronic drug that often yanks us away from the physical world. Unfortunately, typed messages often wound even more gravely, while electronic messages of remorse paradoxically have little power to heal.

But even as it's shrunk the world and brought us closer together, it's threatened to push us further apart.

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Remember that every Internet message you send becomes a permanent part of your brand whether you're trying to market something or not. It's as if the part of our nervous system that registers the feelings of others has been paralyzed or removed when we're communicating electronically, as if we're drunk and don't realize or don't care that our words are hurting others.

Unfortunately, this also usually means we don't transmit these messages with as much empathyand often find ourselves sending a different message than we intended and breeding more confusion than we realize.

Like any useful tool, to make technology serve us well requires the exercise of good judgment. My wife and I joke that we use email messaging when we're sitting back-to-back in our home office, but we use it to keep a record of our schedule. Social media websites are Relationships dating blog tools but are often abused.

Steve KeysEmail, Twitter, FacebookMySpace, YouTube, Delicious, Digg, LinkedIn, blogs of courseand scores of others—all part of the new and wonderful ways we can now connect with one another electronically, each with its own culture and unique set of rules.

It's much easier to injure friendships online than in person because of the ease of creating creating misunderstandings electronically. Let's try not to be.

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A gentle smile or a heartfelt hug has far more power than the cleverest emoticon to lift another person's spirits. Be careful how you word every electronic message you send, in whatever context.

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It's far easier to ignore an email sender's request than a request from someone made in person because an email sender's hope to get a response or frustration in not receiving one remains mostly invisible. Relationships are affected by online communication.

Perhaps in the heat of the moment without another's physical presence to hold us back, we just don't care. If it needs saying but feels awkward, do it in person. Our "emotional invisibility" on the Internet perhaps also explains so much of the vitriol we see on so many websites.