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Then, the flower will absorb all of the nutrients that seeped into the ground, like Clive Barker's fertilizer.

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Whether that's true or not remains to be confirmed if so, no one has apparently ever photographed itbut it does sound plausible enough for us to call The Royal Horticultural Society a bunch of idiots sorry, "wankers" for introducing a Puya chilensis to a glasshouse in England.

Only it's way more horrifying, because unlike Audrey II, this mean green mother from Chile is patient.

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You don't get it. And if you try to burn it, the tree will produce toxic smoke that causes blindness.

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That is, if you have the time. Every part of the tree has been designed -- presumably by Mother Nature while she was dating Satan to piss off her parents -- to kill humans in the most horrifying ways possible.

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It's widely recognised that contact with both parents is important for a child's wellbeing and future development, following a family break-up except in a small number of circumstances. The Children's Contact Service enables contact arrangements to occur with a minimum Rugby warwickshire dating stress both for children and parents.

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Continue Reading Below Advertisement There are even tales of the Puya trapping sheep, whose wool gets so easily entangled in the plant's spiky spines. Children's Contact Service The Children's Contact Service provides safe and positive contact arrangements for children whose parents are separated.

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The trapped animal will remain at the foot of the Puya, slowly dying of thirst and hunger, until it finally croaks and starts decomposing. It can also help with establishing a relationship between children and parents when there has been a period of limited or no contact. It's delicious-looking, tiny apple-like fruits can cause excruciatingly painful oral swelling, enlargement of the lymph nodes, bleeding in the throat, problems with breathing, and even death.

There are even accounts that Ponce de Leon was killed by an arrow poisoned with the sap of a manchineel while searching for the Fountain of Youth.

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This can lead to confusion, insecurity and trauma for a child in the longer term. That sign seems awfully close to the tree. And that's just the sap. In conclusion, this plant could not be a bigger "Fuck you" to humans even if it literally grew into the shape of a giant hand with an extended middle finger.